Finding the Good in Goodbye

An uneventful thing happened to our household last Tuesday night. Our pet kitten—my soon to be favorite pet—got ran over by a car in front of our house. Fortunately it wasn’t the pisak type mishap but more of the internal injury type, so my father was still able to pick up our hapless kitten, carried it to us and let it breathe its last in front of our very eyes.

Immediately, my heart just sunk. My throat tightened as if there was a big lump in it. Though there were no tears that welled up in my eyes, I felt the sadness and instantly mourned the death of our kitten. He could have grown into a fat, snobbish, adorable and rambunctious cat. But he won’t. He would never will. Thinking of that made me had this feeling of pain, which I know will be here for a while.

Then all of a sudden, flashbacks of goodbye came crashing in my mind: the time I witness another kitten being ran over by a police car, significant others drifting away, opportunities lost, tv series being cancelled and beloved individuals passing away. The pain started creeping in and I realized, I never said goodbye to saying goodbye. I realized I’m bad with goodbyes.

Saying goodbye is my weakness. Maybe that is why I’m much of a wreck when I am faced with the time that I have to part ways with someone, something or some place. I’m a mess when it comes to goodbyes but aren’t we all?

Goodbyes are not easy to handle especially the aftermath. All of a sudden, we won’t be having what we used to have. We won’t be seeing what we used to see. We won’t be feeling what we used to feel.

In a snap, we are all in this zone of emptiness and loneliness. We feel vacant, we feel lost, we feel afraid. But we have to face the fact that ironically, the concept of goodbye is only the one that won’t say byebye to us.

Let’s face it. There is no moving on and letting go in terms of goodbyes. We just get used to the feeling of not having those “familiars” in our lives. No wonder, no matter how much we’ve said goodbye and thought we were finally over on things we have cherished, time will remind us of them and it would still sting.

The pain never really ceases. When someone leaves our side, we are heartbroken by the emptiness brought by it. When we let go of an opportunity, we are anxious if there will be another chance that will be given to us. When we leave a certain place, we are afraid that we will be forgotten if ever we return to that place.

Those things make us question, if there is really good in goodbye. But if we learn to sift through the pains, the fears and the tears, we would see that positive thing can come out of it.

Goodbye can mean new beginnings, where we can start all over again and be wiser in our actions. Goodbye can be new lessons in life, wherein we learn from our mistakes and be a better person. Goodbye can be a gift of cherishing and appreciating what we have in life. Goodbye can be a source of strength which would inspire to us stand up after the pain of loss.

It is really challenging to find the goodness goodbye really brings, but it is up to us to challenge ourselves to rise above the pain and sadness it brings.  We just have to realize that yes, goodbye can be painful but after all, when things come to an end, we have to smile because certainly new beginnings will come after.

Postscript: let me leave you an inspiring quote from an episode in Ugly Betty wherein it revolved around goodbyes:
“I’ve had to say good-bye more times than I may have liked, but everyone can say that. And no matter how many times we have to do it – even if it’s for the greater good, it still stings. And although we will never forget what we’ve given up, we owe it to ourselves to keep moving forward. What we can’t do is live our lives afraid of the next good-bye because chances are they are not going to stop. The trick is to recognize when a good-bye can be a good thing – when it’s a chance to start again.”
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About markistonguetied

i march to the beat of my own drum.. View all posts by markistonguetied

One response to “Finding the Good in Goodbye

  • Dru

    I can totally relate. I had two cats die in my arms. One was a kitten that our tenant stepped on accidentally, while the other was a teenager who was shot by a neighbor. I felt really helpless and unbelievably sad.

    What I learned though is that when you decide to move on, you’re only forgetting the pain but not the love nor the happiness that only a pet can give.

    I feel for you. =(

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