Author Archives: markistonguetied

About markistonguetied

i march to the beat of my own drum..

The Correspondence between the Heart and the Brain (Part One)


Dear Cardiac Muscle,

There you go again. You never learned.

I told you so many times not to open up your heart but you did the inevitable. Now it’s all cut up and we will be having a hard time sewing you back again.

I told you to be careful and be guarded, but you responded in a confident tone that you are the strongest muscle and you can take any beating, wearing and tearing being brought upon you.

Unfortunately you are wrong. You might be the strongest muscle of them all but you forgot you are the most vulnerable too. Now I could see you are full of pain, anguish and exhaustion.

See? You are hurting and it kills me to see you like that.

I hate you for not being protective of yourself and of me. Now I’m stuck with bittersweet memories. Thanks to you whenever I’m alone, those memories will replay all over and over again.

When will you learn to be cold? When will you learn not to value everything? When will you learn not to feel that much? When will you learn to become tired of everything? Or simply, when will you ever learn?

But I guess you will never be. You will continue to cherish and open up your heart despite the risks. In a way, I admire you for that because you have the bravery to repeatedly do those things whereas I just choose to repress it, runaway, forget it and move on. Well, I just wish you the best in your continuous march towards your happiness.

Sorry if I keep on being a bit harsh to you. It’s just that I want you to stop caring that much cause you might be in the losing end.

But then again, you will never be me and I will never be you. I can’t force you to follow my whims. Because like what you said, you will continue beating no matter what.

So just keep on beating my friend with optimism.

Just keep on beating.

Sincerely yours,



Those Days…


We all had those days.

Days when we are abruptly taken out of our routine of our daily lives. Days when we are shaken to the core till we are in peril of being shattered. Days where we have to face a reality of pain, loss and fear.  Days when we had to conquer our inner demons not knowing  the aftermath it will bring us. These are the emotions we go into when we have to go through those days—the days where we have to see how precious yet fragile mortality is.

We all have countless experiences wherein we have to deal with the dreaded grim reaper. In our lifetime we have lost a number of relatives, friends, acquaintances and icons that somehow grip us with sorrow and shock of losing someone. I have dealt with a lot of these as well. I’ve lost relatives, childhood friend, classmate, colleagues and mentors. I’ve gone through the phase of denial, grief and the hardest of it all, acceptance. Throughout all of these, I would suddenly have these inner thoughts of how life is feeble but once I got into the phase of moving on, I forget it.

Then yesterday came. I learned that my friend has a serious illness and things got worse because he is now faced with the dilemma of undergoing an aggressive treatment that could help with his recovery but can also destroy and kill him. I was shocked and a sudden wave of sadness rushed in me. It was so surreal that my friend at the ripe time of his age, a guy that can still chase his dreams is in the brink of losing his life at an early age.

I can’t help but feel for him. Maybe because it’s the counselor side of me taking over but empathy starts kicking in. I felt his pain, I felt his fear. I tried my best to encourage him and helped him face this trying moment of his life but at the back of my head, I was at a loss. I was still trying to grasp the concept of how it shakes you up when someone’s life is put into jeopardy, but I never I would be this shaken. I never knew this come to me that close. Way, way close.

My mind is clouded up to now with confused thoughts and mixed emotions. I still feel that I’m walking in zone of endless nothingness, trying to hope that it will be a happy ending after all. However, despite the fact that I cannot guarantee that it will happen, and being in that foggy state, I can see some specks of light that somehow will lead me to seek the answers of why these things of sickness and death haunt us.

That recent incident with my friend made me see a clearer way on how to portray life. We might be young and full of vigor to chase our dreams, but in a snap, it could be easily taken away from us. We might be complaining that we don’t have the material stuff we wanted but there are some who are not even able to get their basic needs. We might be depressed because we are not living the life we dreamed of but there are some who are simply dreaming of extra more life. We might be taking for granted the simple beautiful days when there are those who long for it. The ironies of living our life could go on and on.

It’s up to us how to shuffle through all the darkness of death and all his friends for us to see the light that will give us ideas on how to live lives fully and guide us somehow to determine the real purpose of our lives. Believe me it will be not that easy considering the emotional baggage it brings but hey, it’s worth trying. All of these things somehow made me determine maybe 50% of my purpose and it is to provide comfort and encouraging things whether in the form of speaking, writing or just mere listening. It may not be that big but I know it will make things a little bit better.

Those days. We all fear it because we are forced to re-examine our lives, of what we have become and what lies upon us but we have to recognize how death and sickness bittersweetly make us realize that life is too precious to be wasted, too beautiful not to be cherished, too meaningful not to have a purpose and too exciting not to be lived.

the “x” diaries

If you think this entry is about my past love affairs, I am sorry this is not.

My apologies if I had fooled you but this is more on the “X” that I loved ever since my childhood days, the X-Men. Blame it on X-Men First Class.

Last Monday, I watched the highly anticipated X-Men: First Class, and what can I say? I was like transported to my childhood days of being amazed and excited with the fight scenes, being emotionally affected by their back stories and being  envious of their mutant powers. And within two hours, they brought back the X-Men geek in me.

I had the X side-effects: I began reading again net articles about them, watched the original cartoon series in Youtube and I even made my own set of mutant teams! Yes, I am that of a fan!

Meet the “EXES”:





Powers: Has the ability to absorb and imitate the molecular composition of what he touches and use it for defense and attacks. He also has the ability to absorb energy with his hands and transfer it to his sword to cause massive damage.









Powers: Proficient in archery, she has the ability to hit targets from a far distance.  She can also create plasma arrows by transferring her energy force to her bows which can disintegrate objects, create injuries and temporarily paralyze enemies.









 Powers: Has the ability to convert his body into stone which gives him super strength, durability and force. He can create tectonic movements  and can control rocks for his defense.








 Powers: Her skin is covered with scales which give her agility and protection from blasts and other energy attacks. She also small claws that can emit venom to immobilize her opponents. Her heightened senses which give her tremendous capability to assess and adapt to the environment she is in.








 Powers: Has animal like abilities of speed, healing, agility, reflexes stamina and strength. He also can create retractable claws from his bones which can slice and cut through objects.











 Powers: Has angel-like wings that give her the ability of flight. She also has the ability of hypnotic suggestions, creating illusions and create alternative realities. Her wings also give her the power of healing herself and others from damages and injuries.









 Powers: Can create various heat energy in his hands which he can use as blasts, fields and bombs. The heat energy also gives him the force to propel in the air gaining him flight and energy shields.







 Powers: A trained ninja, she has the ability of speed, dexterity and stealth. She also has the ability to control shadows and use it to blind, attack or hide. She is an expert in hand skills and always has a wooden stick which she uses in fighting. She also uses the stick to emit her shadow energies which can temporary create hysteria to anyone who had a contact with it.





So they are my dream team of mutants.

If there is one thing X-Men gave us it is the desire to have mutant powers. We all want to have special abilities, be it strength, intelligence, weather control, optic blasts, psionic blades, flight, telekenesis and whatever our minds wish for. Sadly it’s just mere fiction and we just have to rely with our imagination.

However, if we look beyond the fictional powers, we can see that mutants are just like us. We all want to be accepted, we all wanted to belong and we wanted to be treated fairly no matter what we look, act and think.

And with this superficial world we are in, we are mutants in our own special way, struggling for acceptance and tolerance and just like them, we just have to keep on fighting.


(Note: If you want to create your own mutants, try visiting this site:

and if you want to further enhance the X-Men geek in you, you’re in for a treat with this website:





An Open Letter through a Song


I always have adored Pink. Her kick ass songs about love, life, loss, acceptance never fails to impress and inspire me. Lately, I was able to hear her 2006 song, Dear Mr. President. It is an open-letter addressed to ex-President Bush and his ways as the US president. Immediately, I felt a connection with the song. The lyrics are compelling and haunting.

Just like her, I have so many question to our leaders (may it be ex-PGMA or PNOY). There are still lots of unresolved issues and problems in our country and as I grow older, things have been the same-corruption, poverty,crimes, inequality–and there are just some slight and actual development.

This song clearly expresses how us, the commoners feel against our leaders. It asks the questions we have been wanting to ask and have a clear answer from them. It voices out our concerns as citizens and how our rights should be protected and promoted.

Watch and be moved by the song’s power:


And here are the song’s lyrics:

Dear Mr. President, come take a walk with me
(Take a walk with me)
Let’s pretend we’re just two people and you’re not better than me
I’d like to ask you some questions if we can speak honestly

What do you feel when you see all the homeless on the street?
Who do you pray for at night before you go to sleep?
What do you feel when you look in the mirror? Are you proud?

How do you sleep while the rest of us cry?
How do you dream when a mother has no chance to say goodbye?
How do you walk with your head held high?
Can you even look me in the eye? And tell me why?

Dear Mr.President, were you a lonely boy?
(Were you a lonely boy?)
Are you a lonely boy?
(Are you a lonely boy?)

How can you say, no child is left behind?
We’re not dumb and we’re not blind
(We’re not blind)
They’re all sitting in your cells while you pave the road to hell

What kind of father would take his own daughter’s rights away?
And what kind of father might hate his own daughter if she were gay?
I can only imagine what the first lady has to say
You’ve come a long way from whiskey and cocaine

How do you sleep while the rest of us cry?
How do you dream when a mother has no chance to say goodbye?
How do you walk with your head held high?
Can you even look me in the eye?

Let me tell you ’bout hard work
Minimum wage with a baby on the way
Let me tell you ’bout hard work
Rebuilding your house after the bombs took them away

Let me tell you ’bout hard work
Building a bed out of a cardboard box
Let me tell you ’bout hard work, hard work, hard work
You don’t know nothin’ ’bout hard work, hard work, hard work

How do you sleep at night?
How do you walk with your head held high?
Dear Mr. President, you’d never take a walk with me, would you?


Now I just hope that PNOY can listen to this, given his inclination to music….


Baguio’s Best Shots

Had a short get-away in Baguio with my colleagues… As usual, I was inspired by the views, scenery, greenery and foods…so the photographer in me came out….

In fact, i took more pictures of Baguio scenes rather than myself and my friends…

Hope you’ll be inspired by Baguio’s captured beauty…

here’s the slide show:

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and here is the gallery:

of unlikely friendships and tearjerkers

friendships. we all have it. we all treasure it.

it said that friends are the family that we choose for ourselves because we know that they are the ones who truly understand us because of the common bond we have with them.

lots of friendships have been portrayed over the years in films. some are touching and some are downright annoying. so i would say that im not the type of who will watch sentimental films about friendships because it’s kinda cheesy for me and i don’t weep that easily.

however, these are the friendships films that really touched me deeply. made me unexpectedly cry a bucket of tears. and had me reeling with bittersweet feelings after a few days of watching it.

ironically, these films are not the usual “my friend is a human being friend”. but explored the friendships that extend over humanity, in the form of animals and other inanimate stuff.

Here are they:

1. Toy Story 3

this this film ranks in one of my all time favorite films. i liked this film so much i even posted a blog entry about this.

2. Hachiko

i find films about dogs corny (except for beethoven and 101 dalmatians) but this is different. it is based from a true story in Japan way,way back the early 1930s and it tells the story of unwavering loyalty of a dog to his master. loyalty to the point of  he can put our BFFs into shame. oh how  i wish, we all have these hachis in our lives.

3. Charlotte’s Web

five things i enjoyed about these film: 1.wilbur is the new babe. 2. big spiders are not that really scary. 3. all star cast. 4. love sara mclachlan’s ordinary miracle. 5. i just love the film

4. Wonangsori (Old Partner)

i just happened to watch this film recently. it is a korean documentary film about the strong bond of a farmer and his ox that lasted for forty years. with its simplicity, it really tugged my heart for days and days and days.

i suggest you watch all these films. it had it given perspective about valuing friendship, treasuring loyalty and keeping the faith in our friends. yeah, they maybe a bit bittersweet, but the sweetness will eventually overpower that tinge of sadness.

The Top Ten Life Lessons Worth Learning



People have been saying that this is a lucky day since this only happens once in a millenia. No wonder lots of events are being held this very moment, cause this triple threat of numbers might serve as a charms for destiny to shower us with luck.

Now, if there’s one thing 10-10-10 had brought me, it’s the inspiration of creating this entry about the top ten life lessons that had helped me throughout the years: the ones that had helped me in facing my day, in surviving life’s challenges and in cultivating the maturity I thought I never have.

I would not claim and preach that you follow all of this because this might not be effective for all but these might be worth considering:

1) Cliche as it may sound, believe in destiny. Things happen for a reason, whether good or bad. We tend to question why such things happen to us, but have we ever asked, “why not?“.

2) Try to save money. Always save up at least 5%-7% of your salary and work around the remaining amount for all of your expenses. I swear this has been effective in helping me become frugal without the hassles.

3) It never fails to unwind with your colleagues after a weeklong workload. Trust me, it is a good stress buster. Whether a night out, eat out, videoke nights or lasertag, having your own social support at work helps you to survive the pressures from your work.

4) Though we are already settled in a certain profession, it doesn’t mean that you do not have the rights to pursue your avocations and passions in life. Being in a box up world of job descriptions should not stop you from pursuing your “other” interests in life. I am a counselor by profession, but I still pursue my love for cooking by joining culinary competitions and my passion for writing by blogging.

5) Always keep the virtue of goodwill and sharing alive. Share goodness and compassion among the people and the animals around you and the environment. even those who have hurt you! It brings that extra feeling of satisfaction in your life. Make someone smile. Donate blood. It’s up to you on how to make the world a better place in your own little way.

6) Remember and reminisce the past. You’ll never know how those nostalgic feelings would put a smile not just on you but the people around you.  Share stories and memories from the past. It is a good way of collectively gathering fun and happy experiences. The perfect sample? The #sentisabado sensation that rocked the whole twitter world by storm a month ago.

7) True friendship or other relationships cannot be established by a social networking site. There are bonds and interactions in life that tagging nor linking nor following can’t do.  Met someone over the net? Don’t get excited that much for it might lead you to heartbreaks and loss. The best way of building and maintaining a relationship is the face-to-face conversations. It makes you feel more secure and warmth than the networking site.

8) Expectation can be as tempting as an opportunity or as devastating as a failure. What to do? Just be wise and keen in handling one to avoid being pulled in the emotional drain in the future. Do not expect too much. The more you expect, the more chances you might feel hurt and get disappointed when things don’t go your way. Just take it slow.

9) The true essence of forgiveness is not by forgetting and later on blame the people who have wronged you and despise them for creating the emotional wreck you had become before but instead, thanking them  for the strength they had instilled in you.  I know it is hard not to hate someone but at the end of day, you will realize that yes, they might have hurt you before but the also had contributed n making you a stronger and better person.

10) Despite experiencing sufferings, hurt and heartbreaks, and being a victim of life’s bitchy ways, never dwell on self-pity. You are lowering yourself to others which makes you be unfair yo yourself. Despite the dramas we meet in life it is better to keep our head held up high, put on a smile and battle them face on rather than just quit and cry about it. It is okay to cry for a bit but NOT to the point that you think you are the victim of the world and you needed to be saved. Come on, we are our OWN heroes in this world and is up to us on how to overcome those hardships in life.

We are a work in progress. Everyday, we learn lessons from the world’s greatest course–life and classroom–our world.

We gain insights from the greatest teacher of it all–experience.

And most of all, wisdom is achieved by life’s day to day students which is, US.

But we have to remember that it is up to us if we are going to use the learnings that we have for our own advantage.

So what’s your top ten?