Category Archives: recycled stuff

Not 20/20

Not 20/20

I close my eyes

Shying it away

From the burning rays of light

I hide in the darkness

Of the depths

Of my soul.

A place

of nothingness

of safety

of security.

Of non existence.

I rather be blind.

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Windows Media Player

Staring blankly on the 14” monitor

Letting myself get hypnotized

By the changing neon colors

Jumping, dancing, palpitating through the screen

 

I turn the speaker’s volume up

Trying to drown these wasted thoughts

With the lyrics of the playing song

It was as if a lullaby

In this troubled soul of mine

The Tale of my Old Office Shoes

It was a day that I already planned. Early morning I would have a breakfast get together with a friend, then go to dlsu to finish and submit my requirements, then off to work after lunch then probably have a celebratory dinner in the evening for I have finished my practicum. I was carrying a mailman’s bag in my right, a sling bag containing my office shoes on my left, a big umbrella on my right hand and a jacket on my left. So I was off thinking that I would just face a busy, normal rainy day.

Or so I thought.

Since fate loves putting twists in my life, an uneventful thing happened to me. Because i was rushing to finish and submit my requirements on time, I misplaced my sling bag and ended up losing my office shoes. An just by that, the day that I had planned crumbled in front of me.I wasn’t able to go to work because I was wearing slippers then and no it was no celebratory dinner for me. And I was forced to shell out money because I have to buy a new pair.

I was pissed. Actually I was more of becoming zombeish. I felt blank. The shoes has been with me for more than two years and now it was gone, in an instant. And it sucks because I developed some sort of an attachement for that shoes of mine since it has been with me during the significant events of my life. It was the one that I wore when I resigned, the one that I wore during my job interviews, the one that I wore during my big presentations for my masters. It has been with me during the stressful and triumph days. And it witnessed the harships, sweat and tears that I shed in my professional life. It became my comfort zone actually. During its last days, i have seen those of shoes of mine getting torned and deteriorated as if, pleading to me that it needs to rest but i was selfish to heed its call. Until the day it got lost.

So i was faced by the fact to wear a new one, one that has a new thereapeutic features in it, and i slowly accepted the reality that this will be my new partner in facing the future. Though I was sad to lose my shoes, I have to because it already has some holes and it makes my feet feel wet during the rainy days but I didn’t mind it because it was my comfort zone. But again, maybe it was time for me to let it go and enjoy a new one.

Then suddenly I made a realization that there are things in life that are just like our old worn-out shoes, no matter how torn, used and abused it is, we do not want to stop using it because it is the one that gives us the feeling of comfort, security and protection. It maybe is in the form our old love, our job, our duties and responsibilities, the what ifs. Those things are hard to let go because again, we have developed an attachement over them and being free from it would devastate us because we do not know what lies ahead. But sometimes we have to let go of those of because it is the only way for us to grow, to be stronger and be better. Freeing something that we are so used to helps to improve ourselves to be a much better individual.

I never thought that losing my shoes would open my mind in a new perspective about life. I never thought that letting go of my old shoes would have this effect on me. To let go of the past that holds and prevent me to enjoy my life to the fullest and learn more from it. At least now I can face the future with a more visible smile.

So go ahead, and probably it is now time for us to store our old, faded and torned-up shoes to its final resting place–the cabinets–and wear and fill up a new pair of shoes. The shoes that would help us walk towards the life filled of opportunity, hopes and new dreams. And I am sure the one wearing who has that new shoes is a wiser, mature and better individual ready to seize the road that is ahead of him.


from the eyes of a color challenged ant.

black and white close-up shots….


Pangungulila Sa Yo

    1. Kadiliman                                                                                                                                 Ang nakikita ko                                                                                                                 Tuwing gabi

                  Hindi ikaw

       Hangin                                                                                                                                       Ang humahaplos sa ‘kin                                                                                               Tuwing gabi

                  Hindi ikaw

       Unan                                                                                                                                            Ang kayakap ko                                                                                                                 Tuwing gabi    

                  Hindi ikaw

       Panaginip                                                                                                                                  Ang katalik ko                                                                                                                               Tuwing gabi

                  At hindi ikaw.


  • The Day my Lens Went Pessimistic

    I never thought that  my being quite of a negastar would rub off some in my camera. So now, I must change the half-empty world view of mine….


    An Ode to Someone Who Doesn’t Know Me

    The first time
    I laid my eyes on you
    I felt enchanted
    Out of the blue

    Your smile
    Your eyes
    Resonated in my mind
    Picturing how lovely you are

    Days pass by
    And I’m getting addicted
    By thoughts of you
    As if you’re my narcotic

    I know you
    But I am just
    One
    Of the million faces
    Surrounding you

    But I hope
    Someday, sometime soon
    You will to read this
    Poem
    Dedicated to you

    So you can remember
    Of all the million faces surrounding you,

    I am the
    One

    Who has been longing for you.